The Grooms Cake

Grooms are usually not the focus of attention in the wedding planning process, one of our previous posts “Grooms Guide to wedding planning’ featured the tasks that a groom can do in assistance with wedding planning. But there is one more thing that the Groom can do and that is designing and planning his ‘Groom Cake’.

The groom cake is a cake that is often times a reflection of the groom’s quirkiness. This cake is usually decorated around the theme of things that represent him. They usually feature classic ‘guy stuff’, such as, football, the steelpan, a cricket bat or their dream car.

Most wedding don’t feature a Grooms cake. And often times I am left wondering ‘why not?’ 

The answers are usually: “It would take the attention of the main cake”, or “there wasn’t any plans of having one”.

This cake is a way for the groom to express himself on his wedding day.

Although, the concept of the groom’s cake originated in Southern America, it has been growing popular around the world lately. The contrast of the formal wedding cake to the groom’s cake is the fact that this cake is one that usually make people laugh and is different from the Traditional Fruit Cake in Trinidad.

This cake can either be red velvet, chocolate or sponge if it’s the personal preference of the groom.

So grooms, here is one wedding cake that you will have the pleasure in designing and planning for. This is one of the truly awesome moments in your wedding celebration that that is totally a representation of yourself.

With this cake you can, in your own way, have a uniquely remember-able wedding.  It would not only be remembered for how beautiful the bride looked, the decorations, the wedding party, the wedding cake or even the food, the simple sight of ‘your cake’ that is not too common place in a wedding, could somehow add to the festivities and laughter that would make your wedding truly a joyous occasion.

Honeymoon: Tips for Planning

Honeymoon planning is just as important as the wedding planning. For those who don’t know the 'Honeymoon' is referred to as the ‘indefinite period of tenderness and pleasure experienced by a newlywed couple. This honeymoon is usually highly anticipated by the bride and groom as it is the first vacation they take together to celebrate their newly married status before settling down to normal life together.

These honeymoons could be either simple or extravagant as it depends on the budget that you have. Therefore, in planning your honeymoon, here are some helpful tips to remember to make the most of this experience

Budget: you have to know how much you are willing to spend to plan your vacation to suit it.

Travel Agent: decide if you want to use a travel agent. The travel agent will be able to find reasonable fees and do most of the leg work for you.

Book your Hotel: if you have already decided on where you want to go and it suits your budget, you can book the hotel and reserve a space for yourselves. Most hotels have a honeymoon special, so make sure to inquire about their specials

Book your Flight: this is obviously for the persons who would be 'flying out' for their honeymoon. Booking your flight in advance is one way to not go through any undue stress.

Pack: make a mental list of the things you would carry on your trip and put them aside for easy access.

Passports and Visas: if you are travelling to regions that require visas and passports make sure that they are in order from an early date or at least six months in advance.

Plan Activities: maybe you may have a bucket list of the things you want to do, so plan a schedule of all the places you want to visit, the times you want to be there for and how long you plan on visiting each site. These places may need bookings or tour guides so ensure that you get a spot by booking early.

Reconfirm: since most of these planning activities will be done a couple months in advance of your actual honeymoon, it is best that you always reconfirm all booking and schedules with the hotel, flight agencies, site visits with the weeks and months prior to your honeymoon. Some advisable times to reconfirm are, one month prior, one week prior and two to three days prior to your arrive. This is in the event that any last minute changes have to be made, either by you or the various agencies. 

It is always good to be prepared.

Grooms Guide to Wedding Planning

On the subject of Wedding Planning we have been focusing mostly on the Brides, but Grooms, you play a big part in the planning stages as well. It is the both of your wedding anyway. So, you can get your hands ‘dirty’ with the planning too.

Here’s what you can do:

Food: I mean you like to eat so, when you add your perspective it would be vastly different from the Brides ‘female food’.

Music: Who does not like a good party! Sometimes it seems to me that most guys always have that particular friend who can DJ at any party and is always available. Grooms, if you don’t have such a friend, this is one enjoyable task for you to tackle. You could always improvise and request the type of music you want and make accommodations for a special song to surprise your bride. It’s really romantic when you do this!

Honeymoon: It’s always appreciated when you make your bride feels extra special, so planning the perfect honeymoon vacation is a great way to begin your married life. Whether it is on the beach, a wooden cabin or a theme park, you would know what would be enjoyed by the both of you the most. So, a good place to start searching is the Magdalena Grand Hotel in Tobago or the Carlton Savannah in Port-of-Spain. if this does not suit you fancy you can always expand our search to cater to your needs.

Tuxedos: A suit or a tuxedo, a Wingtip shoe or Oxfords, bow tie or Tie, three piece or two piece suit. There are so many choices to be made concerning what you will wear on that day, so deliberate carefully, your future pictures and reflective moments will be around for a long time. But remember that you should not sacrifice all your comfort for the big day. 

Groomsmen: You can choose 'your boys', you know the ones who have been with you through thick and think, and the ones who you kick back and relax with. It will be good to include your brother and one of hers too. it's considered good etiquette considering you will soon be family!.

The Ring: the ring that you choose to propose with is the most important thing for you to do. The same effort and deliberation you put into talking politics, gaming or buying a television set, you need to do the same here. Choose wisely!

The Bridezilla Syndrome

Picture this, ever since you were young you dreamt of the perfect wedding. In your dreams there was the perfect guy, the perfect decorations, the perfect venue, the perfect bridesmaids and groomsmen. In your dream, everything was perfect.

Newsflash…. Perfection is not achieved by dreams, it is achieved through hard work and determination and effectively communicating your vision without getting everyone in your wedding party so annoyed that they wished they never agreed to be an attendant or help out in the first place.

The Bridezilla Syndrome. Simply put, it means a soon-to-be bride who throws all niceties to the wind and browbeats everyone in their way to get what they want.

Ladies, we all want a picture perfect wedding, we all want it to be magical, but, seriously you don’t need to make everyone hate you just so that you can get what you want.

So when you feel your inner Bridezilla/Godzilla coming out remember these tips: 

Don’t take it out on you fiancé or anyone around you.

Do take a break, take a walk to clears your head (walking and thinking to yourself can bring things into perspective)

Do remember that the people around you are willing to help. Ask for it!

Don’t assume that people would magically know what you want

Do draw them a design or show them a picture of what you want

Don’t be self-centred (yes it’s your day, but it’s a day that you share with people closest to you, so, don’t alienate them)

Don’t micro-manage

Do delegate tasks, nobody said you have to do it all on your own.

What will be frightening is the fact that you would let yourself become outraged for a minute detail on your wedding day that you absolutely ruin the day, for, not only yourself but for all your guests.

On this day screaming is prohibited unless it’s squeals of delight that you share with those around you because a particular moment or event in your wedding comes off unexpectedly delightful or the realization that the coordination and compilation of preparation is so perfect that screaming in glee is the only way to let out that emotion. Truthfully, this is the only time screams should be heard.

So calm yourself bride who is turning into a Bridezilla. This is not how you want to be remembered.

Smile, be happy.

Why Choose a Wedding Planner

So you got engaged! Your excitement level is high and you want to shout to the high heavens and everyone that you know and tell them that the love of your life is going to be your husband or wife. So you start planning and getting ideas of how you want your big day to finally play out.

You are looking for dresses, tuxedos, shoes, venues, decoration…. everything! And while you are looking at everything you run into a problem.Where do you start! You don’t know because you are bombarded with so much information. There is so much different things that you can do. added to this, all your friends who are sharing in your excitement keeps on drawing your attention to so many lovely ideas, that pretty soon, the fun of planning your wedding is not there anymore.

But don’t be despondent, you can always hire a wedding planner when it gets too overwhelming for you.

Most of the times when a person hires a Wedding Planner their reasoning is “I have never planned a wedding before, I don’t know what to do!”  Truthfully, there is no shame in admitting short comings in yourself.

So here are some reasons why you should hire a wedding planner:

1: They can plan the entire wedding celebration for you, or, they can acquiescent to your requests and form their plans around your vision of your wedding.

2. It is less stressful than doing it on your own. A wedding planner would already know the best places and the best deals and service providers who can delivery special requests or on a short notice.

3. Wedding planning is their speciality, it’s their career, so, they have the skills needed to get the job done in a timely and creative fashion.

4. It is less time consuming for you because there is someone who is willing to do the big tasks so that you can go into your wedding day without worrying that you left an important planning task undone.

You can consider a Hotel wedding

One way to eliminate stress is to have you wedding at a hotel.

The most remarkable thing about hotel weddings is the feel of the place because hotels usually go the extra mile to create an atmosphere to match that of relaxation, festivity and traditionalism.

So “Why a hotel wedding?’

Well several reasons in fact:

1.       Cost – it’s a cost effective initiative. At a hotel, they have the reservation, the space, the ambiance, the decoration, the catering, the table, chairs, spoons, music. They provide a full service. So instead of going through the undue stress to looking for each of these individual services elsewhere, the hotel provides it and it is included in the overall cost of a simple wedding event booking.
2.     Convenience – brides and grooms who want to really go all out for their weddings usually choose a hotel wedding because all the services are there already, the dressing rooms, to honeymoon reservation, and room for guests from overseas. The idea that everything is happening on spot is all the excitement and convenience you need to start off the day right.
3.    Creative vision – the wedding industry is usually rife with instances that will need constant coordination between all parties involved and be dependent on each other. A hotel wedding streamlines all these issues. Where, hotels are already attractive venues, they put the added touches of magic to your wedding and it is evidenced by the way they decorate and prepare their food. Additionally, these hotels are already equiped with the amenities of restaurants, event planners, onsite assistance and around-the-clock reminder services. This means better coordinated service that relieves the pressure from the bride and groom.
4.      Recreation – hotels are designed for recreational purposes. If you want a rest from your busy stressful work week or booking a vacation for your family, you choose a hotel. The same could be said for having your wedding at a hotel. It would feel as if you are on a vacation from your life. The hotel wedding would seem surreal and extraordinary and totally apart from the usualness of life and you can enjoy a vacation with your newly wedded spouse.

Questions to ask your Caterer

In the previous post, some tips on the selection of a caterer was given. They were along the lines of:

1.    Choosing someone you trust

2.    Book the well in advance for you wedding day and

3.    Settle on payment and service issues

     These are some great helpful tips, but along the way there are questions that you will need to ask your caterer before you hire them. They are:

•          Does the final charge include bartender, serving and alcohol?
•          How would you and your staff be attired for the event?
•          Do you have a license to sell and serve food and drinks?
•          Due to my guest list size can you suggest a menu based on my budget?
•          Will the caterer be providing services on the same day of your wedding for another event?
•          Do you provide a full service? E.g. serving, preparation, cleanup, bar services
•          Does full service require an additional charge?
•          Would the caterer also provide seating arrangements? Tables, seats, tablecloths etc.
•          What happens to the left overs? Will they be packaged for guests
•          Do you make specialty alcoholic drinks?
•          Do you have any other extra charges such as, security deposits, service fees, tax services?
•          Do you make wedding cakes?

These questions are important to be asked as it will inevitably affect your bottom line. It is essential to ensure that you and the caterer are comfortable with the answers to these question as these answers will be dependent on any future negotiations you may make or their eventual hiring.

What is also important to consider is viewing the website or a Facebook pages of these caterers.  Here you would gain some insight into previous similar jobs and customer reviews of their past jobs. By conducting your own research you may turn out with a better catering service option than you had hoped for or realize that the ones you were banking on initially to serve at your wedding may not be suitable for you.

The Meal brings everything together

The wedding meal is just as important as planning the wedding décor or setting the wedding time. This is the 1^st meal as a wedded couple and as such, it should be tasty and delicious and something to remember. In Trinidad, we have an array of cuisines that adds to making the occasion special and be a reflection of the theme of the wedding.

One of the most common styles of food at weddings is Creole.

 Menus usually consist of:

•  Fried Rice,
• Barbequed Chicken/Fish
• Stewed Pigeon Peas
• Fresh vegetable salad/ Potato salad or Macaroni Salad.

Additions to this meal are usually, callaloo, macaroni pie, potato pie etc.

Another common Style of Food is The Indian Cuisine, or as we like to call it “Curry”

These menus include:

•          Roti Skin : Dhalpuri, Paratha
•          Curried Channa
•          Curry/Stew Chicken
•          Alloo
•          Anchar Mango
•          Pumpkin Talkari

Additions to this meal may include curry Chataigne, Mother-in-law (pepper sauce), curry goat, or stew duck.  

Drinks usually include Trinidad’s Prize winning 

• AppleJ, 
• Shandy Carib, 
• Ginseng Up or
•  Fruta. 

It is essential remember that not all guests consume carbonated beverages so bottled water and fruit punch should also be included as a part of your drinks menu.

These simple menus are usually enough to have a fairly tasty meal that guests enjoy, not to mention, these are meals that appeals to the majority of Trinidad and Tobago as they are culturally acceptable within the nation.

As much as the meals may seem simple, it requires co-ordination in preparation for your wedding ceremony and reception, therefore, if you are hiring caterers, you should:

•            Choose one that you trust as they would not only have to prepare a tasty meal to serve everyone in attendance, it would also have to be ready in time for the reception.
•         Hire them three months in advance to your wedding day. This is to compensate for any changes you may have in your meal choices or additional numbers to add to guests.
•        Settle on a charge for the meals as well as making serving arrangements.

If you are having your family prepare the meals, you should enlist their corporation as early as possible. This means having certain members agree on the dishes they would prefer to prepare, the amount of money they would need to prepare it and the quantity that they should prepare for these dishes.

Essentially, food is important, not only is it a welcome reprieve to guests awaiting the return of the bride and groom from their photo session after the formal ceremony it is a time where they sit, celebrate and relax themselves as they enjoy being a part of such an auspicious occasion and partake in congratulating the newly wedded couple as they make their first step into being a family.

The ones you really need at you wedding

So we all know who we don’t want at our wedding. So it is time that we list out exactly who we want there. It is essential to know that the guests who make the final list are those who you know is important to you, they are the people who share a part of your lives and the honour of you requesting their presence means that not only do you hold them in high regard, it is you appreciating them and wanting to show your excitement knowing that they are the ones who will be just as happy for you as you will be happy for them if the situation were reversed.

Knowing that this invitation is a precious thing, here are some of the people you should definitely invite:

1.      Family - Bearing in mind that family is not only about blood but about the people in your life who have come to mean more to you than family. Then family is not considered only those with the label of mother, father, brother or sister etc., it could also mean persons in life who you know you can depend on or people that you have made bonds with knowing that their presence in your life cannot be replaced or erased simply because they  have not had the pleasure of being born into your family.
2.     Friends – these friends are the ones you go out with, the ones you call up when you are bored, the ones you pester and harass on a daily basis because the love is strong between you and you know that they have your back. These friends are the ones you met in school, university or at work and you know that they lend a listening ear to every little detail of your life and never give you the feeling of insignificance in their lives. So yes, send them you invitations.

Your wedding day is a day to be happy and smile until your face hurts, or dance until your feet hurts too. These friends and family are the ones who will ensure that your smile is there and your laughter is there and the joy you exhibit is there with them also.

And that’s it. That’s the list! Close friends and family, just two groups of people, because these are the people who simply make you feel special. And after you have gotten them on your list it is only then that you consider extending invitations to others.

Once again, it is the people who make you feel happy are the one who get their invitation first.

5 people who should not be invited to your wedding

One conundrum that affianced couple face is who to invite to their wedding. Just the fact that you have lived your life and been in contact with so much people individually does not mean that you have to invite them all.

If you make a list there are family, immediate and extended, friends from school, work, church and childhood. This could add up to a considerable amount for both parties, but luckily, there are measures you can take or questions you can answer to narrow down you potential guest list to a manageable size to capture exactly who you want to be there.

Lets start with the people you do not invite.

 Ex’s who hate you/ may still be in love with you. So you have shared a portion of your life with this person previously during the course of your life, you can rest assured that you are not obligated to invite them to your special day. It does not matter how amiable you have remained and continue to be after this relationship, it is not very polite that your fiancé should be made known or be made uncomfortable of their presence in your life.

The Plus One. Truly this plus one concept is being blown out of proportion. Your wedding is a joyous occasion that you share and want those close to you. Therefore, the plus one of a friend or family member who does not know you or have not been in your guests life for a short period in time does not warrant an invite to your wedding. A plus one should be for married friends or long-term relationship couples.

Family you have never met or haven’t seen for years. Yes it polite to invite family. But at some point before you issue invitations you must ask yourself if you really want your cousin twice removed and his aunt at your wedding. Do you know them that well to justify your inviting them or are you inviting them simply out of politeness and wondering how it would look if you forgo sending their invitation. Keep in mind, if you want to, you can and if you don’t want to, you shouldn’t.

Co-workers you are simply people you work with. No everyone you work with are your friends. Careful consideration should be paid here. You need to ask the question, ‘if I were to leave this job tomorrow, would I keep in contact with this person?’ if the answer is no, by all means, give you invitation to someone more worthy.

Children. Maybe you want your wedding to exclude children and only have parents and adults there. When issuing your invitations, make sure that this is clearly communicated so guests do not arrive with their entire family in tow to mess up your catering and seating arrangements.

     It's your day, so surely you can invite who you want!

     Next Post: who you should invite to your Wedding. 

Why did you get married or why you should.

Some of the most interesting discussions I have had the privilege of participating in have been on the subject of ‘Why do people get married?’ Interestingly enough, on these occasions, the women were of the view that is was ‘for the love’ whereas one of the guys expressed that he was adamant that he was never going to get married, that was his firm belief, but now he has been happily bound to a beautiful woman in Holy Matrimony for the past twenty years.

Beside the views of the two groups, I had the pleasure of attending the wedding of two of my dear friends this month and what was indicative to me, and I am of the opinion of everyone in the church, was that these two beautiful people were very much in love.

But according to one of my guy friends ‘women always say that they get married because of love but love is not enough to get married.’

So beside ‘Love’, here are 10 reasons on why people get married:

1: Marriage makes you want to be a better person. With marriage you seek to better yourself; individually, educationally, financially, emotionally and sometimes physically.

2: Marriage makes you share parts of yourself with another person who you ultimately trust. You know that there is someone that you can depend on and trust with your feeling and deepest darkest fears and insecurities.

3: Marriage ensures that your name and bloodline will continue to another generation. This is a stable environment to grow up children. The nuclear family is still the most sought after family group. It does not mean that children are not born into single parent families and bloodlines cannot be continued.

4: Marriage is the most romantic thing that you can do to show a person that you appreciate them. It is a gesture in-front of God, your family and friends that shows how much you love each other and promise to be at each other’s side through thick and thin.

5: Marriage is not a tradition but is new to each person when they enter into it. Although the institute of marriage has been around since biblical times and can be seen as a tradition, I must point out that a tradition is an event or gesture that an individual or society repeats on a yearly or monthly basis. Marriage in this case, to most people, is something new that they have an intention of entering into only once in your life. So, to the naysayers who say marriage is an archaic tradition, I respectfully disagree with you.

6: Marriage improves your financial position in life. Two incomes are always better than one. It means more money to spend on bettering your living conditions and way of life etc.

7: Marriage encourages family values. Brothers and sisters growing up with their parents discourages worry and unsureness within children and parents always know that they are working together to make the lives of the entire family the best that they can make it out to be.

8: Marriage encourages faithfulness. Knowing that you made a commitment to someone you love is encouragement to keep your promise. It lessens guilt and keeps love between each partner growing stronger every day.

9: Marriage reports of more sexual pleasure and fulfillment. This goes hand in hand with the contentment you feel with sharing yourself mind, body and soul with the one person on this earth that you trust.

10: Marriage fosters more interaction with mothers and fathers towards their children compared to parents and children who are separated. There is more time spent with children within marriage by both parents than the imbalance of most time spent with one over the other.

In my consideration, Love is the foundation that you base marriage on and then you continue to build on it with these different reasons.

So yes! Get married, plan the perfect wedding with the one you love. Reach for the stars in your quest for love, happiness and companionship. Just be assured that the wedding day is only the beginning, it is the first day of the rest of your lives.

You can leave your comments below to tell me of why you got married or want to get married. I am always interested in hearing what my readers have to say.